Abyss of Silence

Thursday, March 29, 2007

More Quiz Fluff

*You and Jesus go out to dinner - who pays?
Duh! He does. I have to work for a living.

* You suddenly have to flee the country and adopt an alias. What is it?

Gwen Gilrose

* Pick one state in the U.S. to get rid of permanently?

Mississippi or perhaps Texas (whichever is more racist and Republican)

* You wake up as the opposite gender what's the one thing you wanna do?
Go camping. Then I could just pee outside. Guys are so lucky in that way.

* Luke Skywalker or Han Solo?
Han baby, it's always been Han.

* What toy did you always want as a child, but never got?

I wanted one of those little motorized cars, not the remote controlled little ones but the ones you could actually sit in. Those seemed pretty sweet. Of course now that I drive an actual car, they don't seem all that cool.

* Who are the top three celebrities you'd like to do?
Alan Rickman

Hugh Laurie
James Marsters

* What's an automatic deal breaker in a potential significant other?
I already got my signif other. If he started cheating on my I'd pitch him out pretty quickly.

* What is the last movie you saw that actually scared you?

Blair Witch Project (scared the Bejesus out of me)

* Stupidest thing you've ever said out loud?

I'm a pretty good editor of what I say aloud. No doubt I've said some really dumb things but I don't have an instance that stands out in my mind.

* You're sentenced to death and its the morning of your execution, what do you want to eat?

Burger and fries from Zig's.

* What's something that most people do that you've never done?

Tried drugs.

* Before you die you want to go to...?

A tour along the Yellow River in China before the three gorges dam project is finished.

* Something you'd really like to do but probably won't ever be able to do?

Go into outer space.

* What wild animal would you like to have as a pet?

I'm happy with my current beastie.

*A drug you'll never try:


* If you were an animal what would you be?

I'd be an otter annoyed by stupid questions.

* Whats something most people don't know about you?

I once killed a man just to watch him die. Ok, I didn't kill him just to watch him die. He dinged my car door. Ok, I've never killed a man. People don't know that about me, they just assume it.

* Who was your first celebrity crush?

Harrison Ford (hence the "it's always been Han")

* What's a weapon to suit your personality, habits and abilities?

A pointed stick.

* Do you despise the undead?

Hey, they're just trying to carve out their own American dream.

* What is your favorite breakfast bread style (pancakes, waffles, toast etc...)

French toast.

* What is your favorite parody movie?

The only one that comes to mind is Airplane. But I've seen it too many times for it to be very funny anymore. French & Saunders do some funny movie parodies.


You Are a Boston Terrier Puppy

Aggressive, wild, and rambunctious.
Deep down, you're just a cuddle monster.
What Breed of Puppy Are You?
Got this from my sister-in-law, who got it from her mother, who got it from her sister. Say that five time fast.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007


Ladies, can we please change the subject? I'm really tired of this one. We all suffer from this self-hating lunacy but do we have to discuss it so much?

A serious (or not so serious) discussion about a diet is fine; I'm all for it. What I'm talking about are the little every day comments. The next time I get together with a friend over a meal I don't want to hear about how she "shouldn't". I don't mind that she will anyway (because we women love food) just that she will feel it necessary to say that she "shouldn't". Honey, do as you like, I'm not judging you. I'm busy beating myself up.

EVERY woman does this. I find that the skinny ones are the worst offenders. They talk about food more than chubby people. They'll go on and on about how they won't eat something and about (scandal!) how they missed one day at the gym last week and on a day when their jeans are a little tighter than usual about "oh my god I'm getting so fat".

Honestly, why are you saying these things to me? Are you fishing for a compliment? Do you want me to contradict you? Are you trying to make me feel bad? What? What is it? What do you want?

We really need to stop making our diets our lives.

I don't think men are nearly as hard on us as we are on ourselves. How do men put up with this? Of course, some of them succumb to this themselves which I find even more unattractive.

Really ladies, we truly are much more interesting than this.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Mr. Humphries, gone but not forgotten.

It’s funny how the death of someone you never knew can sadden you so. Yesterday I learned that John Inman died at the age of 71.

His most memorable role was that of Mr. Humphries, the cheeky, light in his loafers, men’s wear shop assistant on BBC’s Are You Being Served? This show was a massive hit in England during the late 70s through the early 80s. It’s also been a public television hit over here over the past couple of decades.

I remember seeing episodes of it, no doubt on public television, here when I was a little kid. My Mom and I used to love watching this show.

The only thing close to this show in the U.S. I can liken it to would be Three’s Company, though that's doing it a bit of a disservice. Set in a department store (in the ladies' & men's wear department), it was a comedy that focused on slapstick and sexual innuendo in a completely innocent way. There was never a serious moment; there was never a “very special” episode; there was never anything mean-natured. The set was not impressive, and the plots were simplistic and yet it totally worked due mainly to snappy dialogue, well rounded characters and marvelous performances.

My and I’m sure almost everyone’s favorite characters were the haughty yet tasteless Mrs. Slocombe played by the inimitable Molly Sugden and of course Mr. Humphries.

I rediscovered this show when I was in college. I worked in the bookstore over the summer and ate my lunch in the mostly vacant (summer) student lounge and happened upon an episode. From that point on you could set you watch by the time I’d take my lunch breaks because I’d take my sandwich into the lounge and watch Are You Being Served?

I can’t watch this sweet, goofy show without smiling. John Inman may be gone but Mr. Humphries’ “I’m Free!” will ring on.