Abyss of Silence

Thursday, January 05, 2006

To Breed or Not to Breed

If that is the question, then for me the answer is simple:


The whole world seems to have baby fever. Or perhaps it just seems that way to me as people are shooting out babies left and right in my life. Also, do you notice how you can't go anywhere anymore without having to deal with someone's dear little one? This family friendly trend makes me want to puke! Wasn't there a time when parents would hire a sitter? Restaurants, the movies, the theatre, you're not safe anywhere.

Don't get me wrong. I don't hate children. Individual kids are fine. There are a couple of kids in my life that I'm quite fond of but in general I'm not interested. I've never wanted children really. I'll get a slight pang from time to time, a faint whiff of perhaps something being lost. These are generally very rare and brief before I snap back to my senses.

I think what annoys me the most about it is the stigma of "selfishness" assigned to the childless by the breeders. It isn't selfish. It isn't selfless either but neither are breeders. They aren't selflessly giving life. Yeah, there is a lot of work involved but this is their choice. They WANT children. They want children of their own, despite the fact that there are a bunch of kids out there ready to be adopted and the planet is overcrowded with people as it is. They feel the need to pass along their genetic coding. In other words they are being just as selfish as a non-breeder. It's just that the non-breeder's choice has less of a negative environmental impact.

The only people who are truly selfless are those who adopt.


  • And why do they say "childless?"

    Shouldn't it be "childfree?"

    By Blogger freethoughtguy, at 5:11 PM  

  • Childfree. I like it.

    By Blogger Abyss of Silence, at 9:55 AM  

  • My husband Rock says it is deeply encoded in humans to breed, that those who do not breed are evolutionarily selected against. Therefore, those who have no desire to breed are malfunctioning on some level.


    Yeah, I know it sounds terrible. Though I can't ever think of a tight refutation.

    But here's my thing, and tell me what you think. Getting old. Having no children to take care of you when you need it. Having no one remember you on your birthday, no one who really cares if you're okay or not. Alone.

    I know, thousands of people have ungrateful children who abandon them in state-run nursing homes. But more are loved for by their kids.

    What do you think?

    By Blogger Imez, at 4:48 PM  

  • My husband Rock says that it is deeply encoded in humans to breed, because those who don't are evolutionarily selected against. Therefore, humans who have no desire to breed are malfunctioning on some level.

    Huh. I know it sounds terrible but I haven't ever been able to think of a tight refutation.

    But here is my thing, and tell me what you think. Getting old, and finding yourself truly alone. No one who cares if you are well, no one who cares about your birthday. No one to look after you when you can't do it yourself.

    I know, thousands of people have children who abandon them in state run nursing homes, but thousands more are loved and cared for.

    I don't know. God knows i'm on the fence. What do you think?

    By Blogger Imez, at 4:53 PM  

  • Um, sorry I wrote so many. Didn't see that little note at top.


    By Blogger Imez, at 4:54 PM  

  • What your husband doesn’t understand is that nature thrives on variety. Men aren’t also hard-wired to screw just about everything in their path and spread their seed. Do they? Some do yes but others do not, by choice. Do the ones who restrain themselves have some major malfunction?

    Are we mere puppets to our base instincts? Or has this intellect that has developed in us over time given us some options?

    Given different circumstances I might have had a baby. If I had married another who wanted children I probably would have been persuaded to have one. I’m not against having children I’m against everything being kid-friendly so that one can’t go out to have a nice time without being accosted by someone’s crying/whining/ill-behaved child. I’m against those who breed looking down their noses at and making stupid assumptions about those who don’t.

    I understand the fear of growing old and having no one to look after you. But is that a reason to have a child? There has to be more to wanting a child beyond what services it can provide you later. Doesn’t there?

    My friends and family remember my birthday. If the time comes when I have no more family to remember my birthday or just give a damn in general hopefully I will still have my friends. There are no guarantees.

    By Blogger Abyss of Silence, at 10:14 AM  

  • I basically have the exact same feelings when it comes to having kids, including the slight pang every now and again. but I know that I would not make a good mother and I've seen the results of children with lousy parents. Not pretty. It's more of a malfunction to have kids when you're not able to take care of them emotionally and financially than it is to choose not to have 'em. I'm a damn good aunt and godmother, I love my nieces, nephews and godchildren, but I'm glad that they're not mine at the end of the day. I'll stick to rescuing feral cats...and maybe someday I'll adopt a kid...if and when I know I'll be as good a mother to that child as I am to my cats.

    By Blogger Dana Fredsti, at 1:56 PM  

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