Must learn to say "NO"

We auditioned on Saturday from 10am to 5:30pm with a short break around lunchtime. We have more auditions tonight from 7pm to 10pm. We have callbacks Wednesday night from 7pm to 10pm. We have our first read through Sunday starting at 6pm.

I'm already tired.

Why did I say yes?

I liked the director and the costumer (both of whom I've worked with on other shows) and it was at a new theatre and it was a musical and all of those things together made it sound interesting and challenging and fun. As the time drew near it was sounding less and less attractive. I got to the "oh-wait-this-is-going-to-be-a-freaking-lot-of-time-and-work" point and have been dreading it ever since.

I thought about telling a lie to get out of it. I was good at that as a child but find I can't do it very much anymore. It just feels cowardly and wrong. I thought about telling the truth but found I couldn't after so long, I accepted during the first week of November.

It seems to bother me less while I'm with the production team so I'll probably get out of this "I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS" funk.

I think this will be the last show I stage manage though, at least for a couple of years.

For the next four months though I should focus on...

• the people I'll be working with


• a new and bigger theatre (with an actual fly gallery), house manager, backstage crew, proper office facilities, etc.


• the show should be fun (it's light-hearted and fluffy, "Meet Me in St. Louis")


• though nerve-wracking when it comes close to show time, the intricacies of the set should be a fun challenge (we will have a trolley, when it's time to sing Clang, clang, clang went the trolley...)

It'll be ok, perhaps fun even.

Next time I'll just say no.